When seeing minority and marginalized groups face social injustice, oppression and hatred, friends and neighbors may feel a strong desire to help. But often, they feel like they’re at a loss for words so they say nothing at all. As a result, people can feel even more divided.
In the current political climate, we see ethnic and religious minorities, LGBTQIA+, physically/ mentally disabled, refugees, immigrants, and many other marginalized brothers and sisters experience fear, anger, heartbreak, depression, and even despair.
I’ve also heard kind folks desiring to show empathy but fear that they would coming across as disingenuous. Or in other words, fear that they may do more harm than good.
Don’t let fear stop you from showing that you care!
Cultural sensitivity is a skill that takes practice and it becomes more natural over time.
Let me provide a simple “Say This, Not That” to help you connect with people in pain.
Instead of that: Oh, you must feel [this emotion].
Try this: What was that experience like for you?
Instead of that: My sacred text says [words of comfort].
Try this: What does your scared text/ belief system say in these situations?
Instead of that: Look on the bright side…
Try this: That sucks! While I can’t know exactly what that’s like for you, I do feel [insert emotion]! (angry, frustrated, disappointed etc.)
Instead of that: Have you thought about it from the other side?
Try this: I’m on your side. What can I do to help you and your family?
Instead of that: Have you read this article…
Try this: Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Is there anything that I can read to gain more understanding?
Instead of that: But I don’t see you that way…
Try this: I appreciate you for trusting me enough to be authentic around me.
Instead of that: Not all [insert people group] think that way.
Try this: I wish more people took time to hear your story. Is it ok if I share it with others?
Instead of that: Don’t feel so sad. Everything will be ok.
Try this: I would never tell you how to feel.
Instead of that: Well I personally think that…
Try this: I’m going to be quiet and just listen. Please let me know when you want my input.
Instead of that: But I haven’t seen or experienced that myself…
Try this: I realize my privilege has shielded me from a lot and I want to learn how to be a kickass ally.
What happens if you slip up? Apologize and ask for another chance to try again 🙂
